Emotional Abuse: Everything You Need to Know

Emotional abuse, otherwise referred to as psychological abuse, is a form of abuse in which the perpetrator inflicts psychological trauma on their victim or victims. Such trauma may lead to mental health conditions such as chronic depression, Acute Stress Disorder (ASD),Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),and others.

Emotionally abusive behaviors may include some or all of the following: insults, false accusations, bullying, and various forms of humiliation and manipulation. The abuser's main goal is to instill fear in their victim in order to control them.

An isolated incident does not necessarily qualify as emotional abuse, whereas behavior patterns that persist over time usually do.

Abuse can occur in parent-child, romantic, social, and professional relationships. Individuals who have been victims of emotional abuse may experience fear, confusion, nightmares, low self-esteem, anxiety, and a strong desire to retreat from society.

Psychological abuse, especially in romantic relationships, might not be easy to recognize because often most of it happens behind closed doors. This kind of abuse can also take many forms — for instance, there are abusers who manipulate their romantic partners into thinking that their abusive behavior is romantic (example: "I am so jealous only because I really love you" or "I don't want you to be friends with X, Y, Z for your own good").

If you suspect you or someone you know might be a victim of emotional abuse, this Emotional Abuse Test can answer your questions.

Several studies have revealed that the consequences of emotional abuse are as severe as those of physical abuse. The only difference is that a person who has endured emotional abuse does not have physical bruises. Other people cannot see the victim's wounds unless that individual finds the courage to share them with someone they trust.

Psychological abuse can affect both the mental and physical health of an individual who has suffered from it. This type of abuse can have severe effects — short-term in some people, long-term in others. Victims of emotional abuse often feel bad about themselves; they experience shame, guilt, anxiety, powerlessness, and hopelessness. Negative physical effects of the abuse may include muscle tension and frequent crying. Emotional abuse also increases the risk of an individual developing an addiction to alcohol or drugs.

The longer the abuse goes on, the more prolonged these harmful effects become.

It is very confusing to be in an emotionally abusive relationship because one minute the person has a strong desire to leave and the next minute they feel paralyzed by fear and thus unable to take action. It often happens when the victim is financially dependent on their abusive partner. If the victim has children, they often prefer to stay in their abusive relationship or marriage for years, justifying it "for the sake of the children." However, this is very wrong. Speaking of children, research has shown that in most cases, if someone is abusive to their spouse, they will also abuse their children once they become a parent.

A parent is psychologically abusing their child if they are constantly displaying the following behaviors:

• Ignoring and/or rejecting the child;
• Never showing them affection;
• Telling the child that they are unwanted;
• Withholding positive experiences from the child;
• Yelling at the child, calling them names, threatening them;
• Belittling, criticizing, shaming, scapegoating, humiliating the child;
• Telling the child that other children are better than them;
• Engaging the child in degrading, illicit, or criminal acts.

Child-to-parent emotional abuse exists too. In most cases, it happens in adolescence, usually as a teenager's reaction to parental abuse. If parents are not abusive, but their adolescent child is, sometimes it may mean that the teenager picked up these behaviors from other family members.

If a child has been or is being emotionally abused, they may:

• Have developmental delays;
• Suffer from anxiety, eating disorders, and/or have trouble sleeping;
• Have physical health problems, such as skin conditions or ulcers;
• Withdraw from social life;
• Become overly defensive or, conversely, compliant;
• Display destructive, self-destructive, antisocial, or suicidal behaviors.

Needless to say, psychological abuse may have very serious effects on children and adolescents. Besides the problems mentioned above, experiencing emotional abuse in childhood may also lead to other challenges, such as attachment issues in adulthood.

• Constant criticism, arguments, yelling, name-calling;
• Ignoring boundaries, not giving personal space (example: "I want you to spend all of your time with me");
• Excessive jealousy and possessiveness;
• False accusations — of cheating, lying, being too needy, clingy, selfish, materialistic, etc.;
• Isolating the individual from their family and friends;
• Gaslighting (phrases like "You are exaggerating," claiming that some things "have never happened," or even "You're out of your mind");
• Mockery, ridicule, dark sarcasm;
• Various forms of humiliation in private or in public;
• Punishment by the silent treatment, withholding affection or sex;
• Emotional blackmail (phrases like "If you don't do what I want, I'm filing for a divorce" or "If you leave me, I'll kill myself");
• Too much control (the abuser wants to know how the victim spends their money and who they spend time with, or prohibits them from working or going out at all);
• Making the victim responsible for their feelings (example: the abuser says "You're making me angry" instead of "I am angry");
• Subtle or even overt threats of physical violence.

However, in some cases, emotional abusers do not threaten overtly or monitor the victim too closely. Some perpetrators use subtler tactics that may include the following:

• Regularly judging their partner's, coworker's, or friend's perspective without trying to understand it;
• Questioning or ridiculing their choices and goals;
• Constantly correcting them;
• Disregarding the other individual's opinion;
• Unwillingness to make compromises with the other person.

Unfortunately, for many people in potentially abusive relationships, emotional abuse can be very challenging to recognize because aggressors know exactly how to manipulate others. Perpetrators often do anything they can to control their victims by making them question themselves, doubt their own experiences, or even feel ashamed and guilty for what has happened or is happening. As a result, people who experience psychological abuse often suffer silently in confusion, not knowing what to do for months, years, or even decades.

Remember that knowledge is power. That's exactly why understanding how unhealthy the cycle of emotional abuse is can empower a person to recognize it more easily and start fighting back.

If an individual spots any of the signs mentioned above within their familial or professional relationships, they can and should seek help whenever they're ready. Only the victim themselves can decide when to take action and what course best suits them. In any case, it is essential to share their feelings and thoughts with a therapist or someone they trust — anyone who can help them regain control over their life and rebuild their inner resilience and sense of self.

Recovering from emotional abuse may take time. It is crucial for the victim to prioritize their self-care and get support. Here is what can help a person heal and recover from psychological abuse:

• Getting as much rest as possible;
• Eating well (without overeating);
• Looking for ways to relax, such as meditation, walks in nature, yoga, or music;
• Reaching out for help from trusted family members or a mental health counselor;
• Learning how to set healthy boundaries;
• Starting a new hobby or volunteering;
• Socializing with friends or coworkers.

If you practice the strategies suggested in this article or share them with someone you know who might be a victim of psychological abuse, we're confident that, very soon, you or your friend or family member will start their healing journey.